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Howdee [Apr. 3rd, 2005|12:44 pm]
The Message//Remix

Hello. Im new, just wanted to say hello. Ill make a real post later. But I at least wanted to say hello!
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in the light... [Feb. 26th, 2004|10:24 am]
The Message//Remix

[mood |hopefulhopeful]

So for the first time ever (and I do mean ever)I talked to my mom about God and faith last night. I always thought she didn't believe in God, and with good reason. Growing up there was no church, no talk of anything religious. She had good intentions in that, she wanted me and my brother to make our own decisions on our faith, and in the end I'm glad she did. But I think we talked for a good half hour or more about it. Just about how God works, and that no matter what he's not going to give us more than we can handle.

It just feels really good to know I can turn to her.

I've been reading again.

Ruth, some random Psalms, 1John, and I'm going to start Job tonight.

Life is hard, and it's even harder to put things in His hands, but I'm trying.

Heck, I'm even going to church for the first time on Sunday.
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Psalm 22 [Jan. 19th, 2004|03:13 pm]
The Message//Remix

[mood |mellowmellow]

God, God...my God!
Why did you dump me
miles from nowhere?
Doubled up with pain, I call to God
all the day long. No answer. Nothing.
I keep at it all night, tossing and turning.

And you! Are you indifferent, above it all,
leaning back on the cushions of Israel's praise?
We know you were there for our parents:
they cried for your helpl and you gave it;
they trusted and lived a good life.

And here I am, a nothing- an earthworm,
something to step on, to squash.
Everyone pokes fun at me;
they make faces at me, they shake their heads:
"Let's see how God handles this one;
since God likes him so much let him help him!"

And to think you were midwife at my birth,
setting me at my mother's breasts!
When I left the womb you cradled me;
since the moment of birth you've been my God.
Then you moved far away
and trouble moved in next-door.
I need a neighbor.

Herds of bulls come at me,
the raging bulls stampede,
Horns lowered, nostrils flaring,
like a herd of buffalo on the move.

I'm a bucket kicked over and spilled,
every joint in my body has been pulled apart.
My heart is a blob
of melted wax in my gut.
I'm dry as a bone,
my tongue black and swollen.
They have laid me out for burial
in the dirt.

Now packs of wild dogs come at me;
thugs gang up on me.
They pin me down hand and foot,
and lock me in a cage- a bag
of bones in a cage, stared at
by every passerby.
They take my wallet and the shirt off my back,
and then throw dice for my clothes.

You, God-don't put off my rescue!
Hurry and help me!
Don't let them cut my throat;
don't let those mongresl devour me.
If you don't show up soon,
I'm done for-gored by the bulls,
meat for the lions.

Here's the story I'll tell my friends when they come to worship,
and punctuate it with hallelujahs:
Shout Hallelujah, you God-worshipers;
give glory, you sons of Jacob;
adore him, you daughters of Israel.
He has never let you down,
never looked the other way
when you were being kicked around.
He has never wandered off to do his own thing;
he has been right there, listening.

Here in this great gathering for worship
I have discovered this praise-life.
And I'll do what I promised right here
in front of the God-worshipers.
Down-and-outers sit at God's table
and eat their fill.
Everyone on the hunt for God
is here, praising him.
"Live it up, from head to toe.
Don't ever quit!"

From the four corners of the earth
people are coming to their senses,
are running back to God.
Long-lost families
are falling on their faces before him.
God has taken charge;
from now on he has the last word.

All the power-mongers are before him
All the poor and powerless, too
Along with those who never got it together

Our children and their children
will get in on this
As the word is passed along
from parent to child.
Babies not yet conceived
will hear the good news-
that God does what he says.

Lying in bed..just thinking...letting myself slip for a few minutes. After I let myself cry I decided to read Psalms 22 and 120 (I always just end up picking random ones).

It feels like a cry to God...I know he's there, and I know he's there for others, but sometimes I feel abandoned. I feel like God can't possibly be watching over me, or I wouldn't still feel the way I do sometimes. If only the help would come, then I could tell others how great God is.

Then I realize...it does help. To read those Psalms alone calmed me, and reminded me he is there. I dunno..
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Pray with Simplicity [Jan. 17th, 2004|02:16 pm]
The Message//Remix

[mood |angryangry]

Matthew 06.13

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best-
as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven wit you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

From what I can gather without a "normal" bible available, this is the contemporary Lord's Prayer. The one religious "statement" I know by heart.

Re-discovering myself and my faith, the Lord's Prayer can help at a time like this. Just paging through the Psalms and Job also helps. A bad day at work, and it calms me a little.
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JOB ANSWERS ZOPHAR [Jan. 16th, 2004|04:18 pm]
The Message//Remix

[mood |awake]

012 - Put Your Ear to the Earth
Job answered:

"I'm sure you speak for all the experts.
and when you die there'll be no one left to tell us how to live.
But don't forget that I also have a brain-
I don't intend to play second fiddle to you.
It doesn't take an expert to know these things.

"I'm ridiculed by my friends:
'So that's the man who had conversations with God!'
Ridiculed without mercy:
'Look at the man who never did wrong!'
It's easy for the well-to-do to point their fingers in blame,
for the well-fixed to pour scorn on the strugglers.
Crooks reside safely in high-security houses,
insolent blasphemers live in luxery;
they've bought and paid for a god who'll protect them.

"But ask the animals what they think - let them teach you;
let the birds tell you what's going on.
Put your ear to the earth - learn the basics.
Listen - the fish in the ocean will tell you their stories.
Isn't it clear that they know and agree
that GOD is sovereign, that he holds all things in his hand-
Every living soul, yes,
every breathing creature?
Isn't this all just common sense,
as common as the sense of taste?
Do you think the elderly have a corner on wisdom,
that you have to grow old to understand life?"

There's something about Job. I think it is by far my favourite book besides the Psalms. And in contemporary language, you can hear it like poetry, like music, like a rap in your head.
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PSALM 10 [Jan. 16th, 2004|03:35 pm]
The Message//Remix

[mood |accomplished]


"I can't stand my life- I hate it!
I'm putting it all out on the table,
all the bitterness of my life- I'm holding back nothing."

Job prayed:
"Here's what I want to say:
Don't God, bring in a verdict of guilty
without letting me know the charges you're bringing.
How does this fit into what you once called 'good'-
giving me a hard time, spurning me,
a life you shaped by your very own hands,
and then blessing the plots of the wicked?
You don't look at things the way we mortals do.
You're not taken in by appearances, are you?
Unlike us, you're not working against a deadline.
You have all eternity to work things out.
So what's this all about, anyway- this compulsion
to dig up some dirt, to find some skeleton in my closet?
You know good and well I'm not guilty.
You also know no one can help me.

"You made me like a handcrafted piece of pottery-
and now are you going to smash me to pieces?
Don't you remember how beautifully you worked my clay?
Will you reduce me now to a mud pie?
Oh, that marvel of conception as you stirred together
semen and ovum-
What a miracle of skin and bone,
muscle and brain!
You gave me life itself, and incredible love.
You watched me and guarded every breath I took.

"But you never told me about this part.
I should have known that there was more to it-
That if I so much as missed a step, you'd notice and pounce,
wouldn't let me get by with a thing.
If I'm truly guilty, I'm doomed.
But if I'm innocent, it's no better-I'm still doomed.
My belly is full of bitterness.
I'm up to my ears in a swamp of affliction.
I try to make the best of it, try to brave it out,
but you're too much for me,
relentless, like a lion on the prowl.
You line up fresh witnesses against me.
You compound your anger
and pile on the grief and pain!

"So why did you have me born?
I wish no one had ever laid eyes on me!
I wish I'd never lived- a stillborn,
buried without ever having breathed.
Isn't it time to call it quits on my life?
Can't you let up, and let me smile just once
Before I die, and am buried,
before I'm nailed into my coffin, sealed in the ground,
and banished for good to the land of the dead,
blind in the final dark?"
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